Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
