Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
