Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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