I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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