He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
