somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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