White coat. Heels.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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