I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My cat gives me a boner
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
