drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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