Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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