508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
