I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
