i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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