Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
