Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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