Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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