omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
