the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize