The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
