I am puke
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
