Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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