I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
