I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
