he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
