Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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