No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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