I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
