it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
