So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
