whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize
