I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
