Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
