Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
