My friends, they love my intelligence
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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