is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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