I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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