Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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