Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
