he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Found the puke drawer
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
