he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
