it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
