My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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