Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
