sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
