He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize