Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
