So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
