i will never coherently bang her
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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