I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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