Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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