quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
