My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
