I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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