what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
