the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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