My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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