Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
