Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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