Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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