she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
