No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
