You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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