My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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