I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm sobbing to NWA
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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