I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
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Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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