Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize