ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
